It's been a few weeks

I realized the other day that it had been a few weeks since the last time I posted on here, so I thought I'd hop on here and put up a post.

The week and a half from April 17th until April 27th was probably one of the most fun week and a halfs (can I say "week and a halfs"?) I've ever had. During those 10 days, I had the opportunity and ability to travel to a few different cities and focus pretty much all of my time and energy on spending time with friends. I want to write down all of the awesome things I got to do and all of the wonderful people I got to spend time with, but it would probably take me too long. If you're reading this and I spent time with you in Dayton, Indy, Cincy, or anywhere in between, know that I consider the time I shared with you to be an incredible gift. I'd also like to thank all the people who stretched out some form of generosity or hospitality, without which my little trip wouldn't have been possible; THANK YOU.

Now that I've returned back home and have returned to the commonality of daily life, I'm left with a couple of questions: why was this trip so life-giving and joyful, and why can't everyday be like those ten days were?

Well, I think part of the reason everyday can't be like those ten days is because it cost money to do a lot of the things I did, and during those ten days, I didn't do anything to earn that money. It was all money I had saved up. Furthermore, ten days of traveling around and hanging out with friends is pretty wonderful, but any more than that would probably get old. We all need a sense of purpose and a point to our lives. We need a sense of accomplishment, that we are doing something of value and something worthwhile. I imagine this is the hardest part of being unemployed or of being a parent whose children have grown out of their need for them. And I think this was part of my struggle for my first couple months in Malawi. It's also what I'm beginning to face here without yet having found something towards which I can focus my gifts, talents, energies, and passions. But what do we do when it seems like there just aren't any opportunities for us to use those gifts, talents, energies, and passions? Hmm...I don't think I have answer to that just yet.

So what, then, made my ten day friend adventure so nourishing and fulfilling? Well, I think it had something to do with the fact that I was able to be 100% present wherever I was. I had nothing else on my mind except the people right next to me. I didn't have to worry about an assignment or some project, some lesson plan or some schedule. The entire focus of my mind and spirit was on enjoying and appreciating the good and the beauty in the people I was with and in the places I was at.

I think this is something we often forget to do when we have important jobs and tasks to accomplish. We become so fixated on the things we accomplish, the rewards we earn, and the ways we succeed, that we run out of time or energy to simply appreciate the good and the beauty around us. I think our consumerist and materialist culture helps us in this process too. We're always looking for what's new or what's nicer, that it's sometimes hard for us to be content with what we have, to be at peace with what we have, or even better, to be genuinely happy with what we have. How much does that stink? And I'm just as much of a victim as the next person. I have to admit, I LOVE Express clothing. I think Express designs and sells incredibly attractive clothing that is comfortable to wear and compliments the way a person looks. For the past three weeks, Express has been sending me emails informing me of all kinds of deals on their clothes. There are currently about 5 different pieces on sale at Express.com that I want to purchase, and if I had it my way, I'd probably purchase multiple colors of each item. I don't really need them, but I want them, and because I want them, I'm finding it more difficult to be content with the clothes I have, even though I don't really need 3 more Fitted Stretch 1MX dress shirts of various colors. But our culture rewards and respects people who wear nice clothes. And I like that boost of confidence I get when I put on that nice-fitting shirt, a perfect color for the occasion, with my stylish jeans. So what's a guy to do? Where does that bring us?

Well, I think it brings us somewhere in the middle. Work is a good thing. We all yearn for a sense of purpose, and we all need the nourishment of accomplishment. But we shouldn't let our focus on purpose and accomplishment drown out our ability to be present with the people around us, to appreciate who they are, the gifts they have, the humor they carry, and the stories they share. And nice clothes are a nice thing. Wearing them encourages us, helps us feel confident about who we are, and, often, celebrates the beautiful form of our bodies. But we should be careful not to let ourselves get too focused on building up an expansive collection of nice clothes. Not only will we end up spending lots of money that could be used for other, more life-giving things, but we could fall into the trap of failing to be happy with what we have and neglecting to appreciate all the wonderful things around us that we don't have to buy.

Life is so good, and so is most of what is in it. I think we people are just a little bit addictive with things, so we have to remember to appreciate the good things for what they are without going so far as to neglecting all the other great things around us.

What a gift

I've been home for three weeks now, and with Easter tomorrow, I couldn't think of a better time to write about the incredible blessings that surround me.

Since arriving home, things have been more than wonderful. I have spent much of the past three weeks with friends and family, enjoying their company and appreciating their presence. I could not have asked for, or even dreamed of, a better welcome home. It has been very nourishing, encouraging, and in many ways very healing. At the same time, I know that I haven't necessarily hit the ground yet. I've had near a hundred different people cushioning my arrival, and guiding me gently back to this place. Soon, though, I know I will be entering back into the daily grind, which can be daunting or disappointing compared to the continuous fun I've been having during these initial weeks back. However, in many ways, I'm very excited to do so. Though "normal life" isn't as fun as simply focusing on spending fun time with friends and family, I'm excited to enter into daily life carrying some of the new lessons I've learned from my experience in Malawi.

Coming from Malawi, I am absolutely enamored by the abundant blessings we enjoy here in America, and here in the places we call home. Wherever our home may be, we have the assets of all of our friends and all of our family surrounding us, supporting us, and walking this journey with us. WHAT A GIFT!

I was speaking with a good friend of mine just the other day, and after he mentioned that "normal life sucks," I expressed one of the things I'm beginning to see as a major lesson from my Malawian adventure. Yes, it is true that normal life sometimes sucks. "Normal life" seemingly lacks the thrill, adventure, and glory that things like college life or going across the world to volunteer have. At times it normal life is monotonous. Other times, it is difficult and can even be painful. However, the beautiful thing is that here, at the places we call home, we have a network of family and friends surrounding us, supporting us when we are weak, celebrating with us when we succeed, and all along, walking this sometimes monotonous, sometimes painful journey with us. And when you have that, what else really matters? Life is going to suck sometimes. But if you have people who are willing to share in that suckiness with you, who are willing to hold your hand through it, are things really that bad? In someways, I think some of the sweetest experiences in life are when we go through something difficult, something ugly and painful, and we are accompanied by someone who loves us. By no means does this mean I'm going to go around looking for difficult, ugly, and painful experiences. I just got home from one of those, and I can do quite nicely without another one. But from what I've seen of life, it seems like those experiences just come sometimes. You can't avoid them. But how lucky are we that we've been given a life where even the darkest of moments can be transformed by the love shared with us?

The scary thing is that not everyone has that. That is what I think would suck.

With this life I have, whatever it brings, I now see the incredible treasures I have in my friends and family around me. Come what may, I am blessed beyond belief with the gifts of these friends and family. It took me being a bit cut off from them, literally a world apart, to realize the incredible endownment I have been given. That realization in and of itself is an incredible gift, not to mention the gift that that realization is about. As difficult or sucky as things in Malawi might have been, I am so grateful for some of the incredible things I have returned with as a result of my sometimes not so pleasant experiences. Even more so, I am so grateful for the incredible people to which I have returned, waiting with open arms to encompass me with love.







To all these beautiful people in my life and to more, thank you.

Life is beautiful, even when it sucks. It sometimes just takes us a little bit of work to appreciate the beauty around us.

What kind of beauty surrounds you right now?

Can you do a better job of appreciating it?

I know I can.

"Holy Eggplant!"

Earlier this week, I made my first trip to a grocery store here in the US since arriving back here from Malawi. Surprisingly, I wasn't too overwhelmed by the abundance of aisles, stocked full of food; at least at first. I went to the grocery store that I've been going to for my whole life, so the familiarity of it probably helped tone down the degree of shock I felt.

Though I wasn't blown back by shock, again, at first, I did notice that it took me a REALLY long time to go up and down the aisles. My mom had given me a list of things to pick up, and I found that I was having an incredibly difficult time trying to find the products she was asking for; there were just SOO many different types, brands, styles, and flavors of food. It took me about 5 minutes just to pick out a loaf of white bread for my mom. Why are there so many varieties of bread? I've never noticed it before, but there were probably at least 150 different varieties of bread in the bread aisle.

I'm also pretty sure the young woman at the Deli counter thought I had never seen a Deli before. I walked up to the counter somewhat befuzzled, out of practice with the whole procedure. I gingerly pulled off a number only moments before she looked up at me and asked me what I needed. A little startled, I hesitated, trying to recall what it was that my mom wanted.
...."uh...turkey?"
She laughed a little and asked me, "Okay, what kind of turkey."
"Shoot," I thought, "There's more than one kind of turkey?"
..another pause...
"Umm...which kind is the cheapest?"
"They all are. Today, we have three kinds of turkey on sale for $1.99 a pound." She then listed off the three varieties of turkey on sale that day.
Crap.
"Uh. Let's go with the honey one."
"Okay, how much would you like?"
Dang, there's so many freaking options!
"1lb is good, I think."
"And would you like that sliced thick or thin?"
Are you serious! "How about medium?"

She then sliced one piece, held it over the counter for me to see, and asked if the thickness was good for me.
"Yes. That looks great."

The woman laughed several times throughout the ordeal at my tones, facial expressions, and, I'm sure, my overall confusion at the whole process.

Everything else was going relatively well, besides the fact that I was taking forever and a day to get through the store. I used to go shopping for my mom in high school, and I would be able to fly through the entire store in about 30 minutes. This time, my mom went to run some errands when she dropped me off, and when she returned about 30 minutes later, I had only gone through three aisles. It was a good thing she came because by the time I hit the produce section, I was pretty much useless.

Our produce section is at the back of the store, on the opposite side of the door you come in. The designed the store so that it is the last thing to go through before you check out. When we rounded the corner into this area of the store, my eyes were instantly grabbed by the abundance of brilliant colors bursting from every counter, stand, and cooler. There were SO MANY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES! I couldn't believe it! And they were all so brightly colored! Probably spray painted with dyes, but still, they were BEAUTIFUL! And everything was so BIG! After meandering around for a bit, I caught my eyes on an eggplant the size of my head! In Malawi, we had eggplant, every once in a while, but you were lucky if there were any bigger than your fist. It was unbelievable! I'm pretty sure my mom had to do the rest of the shopping. I think once I saw all of the varieties of fruits and vegetables, my mouth just dropped open, and I floated around the produce section with my eyes wide open trying to absorb the shiny, colorful, bigness of the genetically altered, hormonally infused produce before me. I found I didn't really care what they did to the food to make it that way--I was happily seduced by it's abundance and it's beauty.

I'm guessing that in some time, after my initial excitement to be back in the land of plenty wears off, I'll probably come face to face with the dramatic disparity between what we have here and what much of the rest of the world has. But until then, I think I'm just going to enjoy the bounty we have here. I don't think I'm ready yet to allow myself to acknowledge the inequality that I have had the opportunity to witness. I think if I did so now, I would just become angry and bitter about it, and I definitely don't think that would do anyone any good. It's true we have been blessed with abundance here in the US. But I don't think we are supposed to feel guilty about that. I do believe we should be joyful about it. And we should be grateful of it. And we should try to share it as fully as we can. As a culture, I'm not sure how well we are doing at any of those three things. But I think that is where we should focus our energy, and, when I'm ready, I think that's where I'm going to focus mine. To be joyful, grateful, and to share. It's funny that little kids are so skilled at doing those things which are so critical to a good life, while us grown ups fail pretty miserably at them so often. Let's take some lessons from the little ones.

And a funny little note to end with: After leaving the produce section, we made our way to the check out. While waiting in line for the check out, I wandered into the wine and alcohol aisle. I had a very similar, though slightly less pure-hearted, response in the alcohol aisle as I did in the produce section. I was excited and in awe of the abundance, variety, bigness, and colorfulness of all of the beverages. I wanted to take a taste of every one! Good thing I didn't, though! I definitely would have blacked-out before I even made it a quarter of the way through the aisle. In any case, I think the same thing goes for beverages like that: we should be grateful for them, joyful with them, and we should definitely share. :)