The Chills

Have you ever gotten the chills?

You know, when goosebumps run up your back.

When do you get them?

I got them on Sunday, in a pretty intense way. I was invited to accompany one of my friends to her roommate's gospel choir performance. Having been in a gospel choir, and loving gospel music, I jumped at the opportunity. The performance included two different choirs, one from Lasalle Street Church, which was composed predominantly of white people, and the other from South Street Church, which was composed predominantly of black people. I must admit, though the Lasalle Street choir was great and sounded beautiful, the South Street choir carried an energy and skill that was something to be striven for. However, that wasn't the climax of the performance. The part of the performance that gave me intense chills was when the two choirs joined together, blending their voices and combining their parts. The voice I heard from these two choirs together spoke truth. But I'll get back to that. Let me go back to the chills for a little bit.

I get the chills on a pretty regular occasion, but I experience a very wide range of types of chills. There's a whole spectrum that I experience, from the very minute tingle in the back of my neck, all the way up to a shiver that shakes my whole body, in what can be a pretty violent shimmy. Some of you may have witnessed one of those shuddering shimmies of mine; they jump out of nowhere sometimes.

In addition to the wide range of physical expressions of the chills, I've also noticed that my chills can be inspired by very different stimuli. I sometimes get the chills in response to a cool breeze or draft of air running down my back or hitting me in the face. But I can also get the chills, sometimes to a very intense degree, when someone speaks words that strike my heart chord, when I gaze my eyes upon a beautiful landscape, when I witness an act of pure-hearted love, compassion, trust, or joy, or, when a spirit moving sound of music or voice hits my ear drums.

I just looked up the definition of the chills, and it looks like the medical phenomenon to which the slang refers to, cutis anserina, is a little different than what I'm talking about. Cutis anserina refers to the little bumps that form when a tiny little muscle at the base of our hair follicles contracts causing our hair to stand up. Apparently, this response is sparked by a nerve discharge from our sympathetic nervous system, a part of our autonomic nervous system, the system that regulates organ function and our fight or flight response. I could get into a discussion of all that stuff, but I do have a point to this post that I'd like to get to eventually, (and, if you're still reading this, you'd probably like me to get there eventually too) so I'm just going to leave that stuff there and try to get where I'm going. If you're interested, though, I love talking about all that physiological stuff, so shoot me a line.

What I was trying to get to with that last paragraph is that what I call the chills is not only that physical response of our hair standing up and our skin getting little bumps. It is true that that happens to me sometimes when I get the chills, but it doesn't always--maybe only half of the time. Usually, though, what I call the chills is a tingle or warmth that seems to, depending on the situation, shoot up, roll up, or even just glow up my back, seemingly running along my spine. However, it doesn't always have an external manifestation. Often, it is something that I seem to feel on the inside. It is as if there is a string tied from my head to the core of my body, and certain things have the ability to play that string, sending vibrations of energy through my inner being. Sometimes, when that string is hit, the note that is played sends a rush through my body. It can even move me to tears.

The experience of that note being played is one of the most beautiful experiences of being alive for me. When that string is pulled, something moves inside of me that lets me know that I am alive, that I'm human. And while this movement sometimes expresses itself on a physical level, I also feel it is something deeply spiritual. It is as if that string is tied between my soul and my body, the connection between my spiritual side and my physical side. The experience of this movement is one of the reasons I believe in a God.

It has often been when seeing, hearing, or feeling things having to do with God that I've most intensely experienced this inner vibration. Something inside of me resonates with the idea of God, a creating source, an original home, the essence of love, the uniting element between all things. When confronted with things of beauty, things of love, things of joy, and things of compassion, something tells me they are true and real, that they exist, surround us, and compose us. These things are not physical, and we cannot see them or touch them, but in my life they have been so real--so real that I cannot deny their existence. And spirit is the best word I've found to describe what they are. This is what God is to me--that spirit that is beauty, love, joy, compassion, and more. It is something that I can see in other people, and something that I believe is in all people. It is the spirit that leads to creating art, paintings, music, sculptures, and even chairs, desks, houses, cars, and food. It is the spirit that leads to creating friendships, marriages, families, and babies (that fourth of the four F's). It is what moves us humans to offer ourselves, to give of ourselves, and even to sacrifice of ourselves for others. I believe it is this spirit that motivates life and inspires the potential within us.

I've also seen it in other things--in trees, mountains, rivers, rain, sunshine, snow, flowers, stars, the wind, and so much more. That spirit is God to me, and when I sense it around me, the spirit within me resonates. The chills are a physical expression of that resonance for me, and the way I've experienced them tells me God is real. I don't think any religion has done an excellent job of painting a picture of God, but I think all religions hold some pixel of truth. I think religion helps point us in a direction toward God, but the world around us, the life we live, does such a better job of showing us what God is.

The voices I heard last Sunday, the sound it made, and the sight of those people was a glimpse of God for me. It sent chills through me, body and soul.