"How does one control these types of feelings?"

I think I'm going to like teaching. But it's also going to be quite a challenge.

As I mentioned in a previous post, last week was my first time teaching a class. In my Social Studies class, we are currently covering the topic of Adolescence. I'm teaching them about the physical and psychological changes that occur and the opportunities and challenges that arise during that time.

(By the way, I must send a giant thank you to Dr. Picca and the Sociology of Sexuality class I took during my last term at UD. If it weren't for that course, talking about puberty and the physical changes of adolescence would have been a million times more difficult. But thanks to that class, I was not only able to talk about the topic with confidence and ease, but it was actually quite fun and fulfilling to be informing these students about things that some Malawian teachers would steer miles away from.)

One of the subtopics under psychological changes is Interest In The Opposite Sex. (Soc. of Sex. Sidenote: Malawi is most definitely a heavily heterocentric society, so I might have been deported if I introduced the possibility of someone actually being interested in the same sex. Maybe when I'm teaching the course next year I'll look into bringing up that issue. For this year, I'm just going to try to stick to the curriculum the government has asked me to teach: baby steps.) The textbook explained that "it is natural for boys and girls to begin having romantic feelings for the opposite sex." I could get into the sex and gender issues of Malawi, but I think I will hold off on that discourse until I get more familiar with things here. The point of this blog is focused on the types of questions I have already begun receiving as a teacher.

When I passed over the point about romantic feelings, one student raised his hand and asked, "What does 'romantic feelings' mean?" After I explained that romantic feelings are feelings of attraction and love, which cause you to desire to spend time with them, another boy, quite genuinely, raised his hand and asked, "How does one control these types of feelings?"

A bit taken back, I paused. A few students snickered and smiled, and I wasn't exactly sure how to answer the question. As an escape, I offered, "That is a very good question. However, it doesn't exactly fit with the material you need to know, so if you'd like, you can come ask me about that sometime out of class time. Okay?" He nodded, and we continued on with the topic.

I wasn't expecting the student to actually come ask me how one controls romantic feelings they may have for another, so I was once again stunned when a group of students followed me out of the class room stopping to say, "Sir. So how is it that you control those feelings?"

Wow, I thought. They genuinely want to know.

By no means was my response an excellent one. I knew they had recently covered a topic on virtues and vices. I drew a little from that, feeling that would be something concrete that they could take away from their inquiry. And then I suggested some ideas for converting the energy they have for the other person into energy used for constructive activities. Again, by no means was it an excellent answer. My focus here is not on my response, but rather on the question, the way it was asked, and the sincerity with which they desired guidance.

It is quite flattering to be trusted as a reliable source of information and guidance. But at the same time, it demands a solid understanding of self and of life. It requires an understanding of what can be answered and what can't be answered. It requires knowledge, and it requires humility. I think I'm going to like teaching. But it sure is going to be a challenge.